The Nuts Get Nailed . . .

Well the Kauai trip planning has entered its final stages which included a trip by the two nuts from the Kauai Castaways to a top secret members only location to get high as a kite together to bond before the Kauai trip. That's right Pam and Joanie made a visit to the nail salon to prepare their talons for the trip. Well as I hope most of you who know me can guess I found the need to tag along, to not only experience the opium den like environment of a nail salon but to document this part of the Kauai trip planning phase.

Being new to the whole lets get high and play with our feet scene . . . I had questions. My first of many was a general question to the customers and staff. I asked everyone if the reason that everyone was smiling was because of the fumes coming from the 30 or so open bottles of nail polish. It was answered with a loud and resounding yes and even a hell yes from one overly enthusiastic woman. I then turned my attention to the females sitting in the big puffy chairs with their feet soaking in a blue watery solution that is reminiscent of blue toilet water. they were all in various phases what appeared to be some sort of medieval foot torture. One woman in particular was having her feet sanded violently by a tiny Asian lady with a passion for removing this woman's feet stroke by stroke . . . What the hell was this about? I then observed another lady getting her edges of her toenails trimmed, clipped and scrapped by another little Asian lady that was working feverishly to trim this lady toes into the most beautiful Bonsai' tree that you have ever seen. All the while mumbling ping - pong, ding - dong or something of that nature much like a prison song of old.

I checked on the two Castaway Nuts and their progress in the finger nail attaching and painting portion of their bonding session all was going great as their Asians were busy attaching what can only be described as Claws or Talons that would rival in the animal kingdom . . . Holy Shit! That's when I was informed that they go on one foot long and are then trimmed to the length that they will be finished at . . . whew what a relief. After the Nut's Were Nailed they all agreed to take part in the medieval foot torture sessions of their own where their feet were soaked trimmed scrapped and scrubbed in a manner that would caused most normal people to turn tail and run. There appeared to be a burst of laughter looming on the edge of every scrub do to the sensitive feet areas being scrubbed . . . but to no avail not even a giggle . . . what self control.

Well at the completion of the sessions there were 20 fingernails and 20 toenails picked, plumped, painted and polished to perfection and all for just a shade over $100. What the hell was that . . . $100 . . . Did you just say $100? Well Kiss My Ass and Call Me Sally an hour worth of work for just over $100. I am in the wrong business that is for sure. Well I definitely had my fill of fumes and fun for one afternoon and with a hi ho silver toaster away we were off to the homestead to rest until dinner. Tomorrow begins the travel phase of this adventure so stay tuned to the same Castaway Channel for the continuing saga . . . Mahalo!