The Limpin' Luau . . .

Gilligan's Log Friday August 19th 2011 . . .

When we last left the Castaway's they were beaten, battered and bruising in bed. What does the day hold in store . . . The Limpin' Luau of Course. The day started a little later than the past day's with the Castaway's a little slower to get out of their respective beds with claims of “It Sucks getting Older” and “Damn I'm Sore”. The big check of the morning was just how well is Pirate Pam getting around. As luck would have it her Peg Leg seems to be healing nicely and with the antibiotic ointment now on the sheets in the blood pattern of a stabbing victim, her wounds actually look better than I thought they would too. Pirate Pam is nothing if not resilient and tough. Hell I would have been crying like a kid who spilled their ice cream.

The male Castaway's were tasked with vacuuming the sand from the adventures of yesterday out of the S.S. Escape so tonight’s luau evening-wear wouldn't get dirty. We made our way to the gas station where there is a car wash with a vacuum area. We vacuumed the car and decided to let natures car wash take care of the washing portion of the detail . . . Let the rain begin. We left the car wash and were off to Wal-Mart to pick up a few items that were of Dennis' wish list. We picked up a Mono-Pod for his camera and a boogie board for our next beach adventure. He is going to try his hand at boogie boarding the surf . . . Yes I checked . . . his health insurance is paid up and current. We had his items in hand and were waiting to check out when who to my bloodshot eyes should appear . . . The Oompa Loompa Cowboy. That's right it was a blast from the past with kankles and all. He was dressed in a bright orange Hawaiian shirt that made him look like a giant orange traffic cone with a cowboy hat and turkey platter belt buckle. There was a new wardrobe choice though, it was a type of wide leg pant . . . really WIDE leg pant. The better to fit his kankles in I guess. Pictures were taken for the Wal-Martian archives.

We headed back to the ranch where we spent a few hours just relaxing and enjoying the peace and serenity of the island until it was time to leave for the first adventure. We ate a quick lunch, then we were off the take a tour of the Fern Grotto. This tour consisted of a leisurely boat trip up the Wailua River while being entertained by a Hula show and Hula lesson. That's right we all got up and learned the Hukilau Hula. We even learned the “Umi”which is the move where you move you hips in circular motion similar to . . . on I don't know . . . SEX! Woo Hoo all praise the “Umi” and it' dirty ways. We arrived at the Fern Grotto a short while and two hulas later. It was a short leisurely walk through thick tropical foliage of all kinds and was very beautiful. We arrived a large viewing platform where we listened to a history lesson of the Fern Grotto Cave while a quick downpour of rain happened. This was followed by a rendition of the Hawaiian Wedding song to set the romantic mood of the day. We had a leisurely stroll back down to the boat through a different path with different plants and many more opportunities to take more pictures of the local plant life. Once everyone was back on the boat we floated back down the river as the captain of the boat gave a short history lesson about the surrounding river areas. We arrived safely at the marina where we left from and had successfully completed our first adventure.

After our Fern Grotto adventure we had about 90 minutes to kill so we headed to the nearby Coconut Grove Shopping Center. We had a snack and strolled around the various shops to kill time before the Luau. The time came and the girls made a costume change into their Luau Dresses . . . Simply Beautiful! We even had the matching Hawaiian shirts that matched their dresses. Damn . . . The Castaway's are one good looking group! We arrived at the luau grounds and were taken on a guided tram ride around the thirty acre gardens that make up Smith's Tropical Paradise Gardens. There were beautiful plants and trees of all kinds. Once we were done with the tram ride there was a few minutes until the Imu ceremony. The Imu ceremony is where they uncover the pig from the Imu Pit where it has been cooking for the last 10 to 11 hours. The cooking process and ceremony was explained as it happened and is actually quite a process. Now that the Imu Ceremony was complete it was time to start the all you can drink portion of the evening. The beers and Mai Tais arrived two by two . . . The two by two . . . oh yeah . . . then two by two. After a few drinks it was now time for the all you can eat portion of the evening. The food was awesome . . . the drinks were awesome . . . Our dates were awesome! We ate . . . We drank . . . We took pictures and now it was time to watch the show. The show consisted of various native dancers from places like China, Tahiti, The Philippines and Hawaii to name a few. The show was amazing and was over too soon. That completed our second adventure of the day with only on adventure of the day left.

That's right you guessed it . . . a shopping trip to Wal-Mart at 9:00pm . . . Gotta love it. We picked up some supplies that we were running low on. This place was freaking packed with people kicking off their three day holiday weekend. This was Statehood Day here on the islands and everyone was celebrating. After our shopping trip we headed back to the timeshare, unpacked our supplies and went to bed . . . The Castaway's were tired.

Tomorrow is the Crow's 28th anniversary. What adventure awaits . . .