Bed Bugs to Boat Trash . . . Let The Adventure Begin!

Let's start off by going back in time to Thursday night at around 11:00pm . . .

Joanie had been working all day . . . little by little packing our enormous suitcase as she likes to say . . . with everything including the kitchen sink. So I offered to weigh it to get an idea as to how much more she could add before the airline would reject the bag entirely. Well you guessed it only 7 pounds and reject time was here. The air in our bedroom rang with the sound of "Son of a BITCH"! Let the fit throwing I mean item throwing begin. With a snap snap here and a throw throw here the bag was slowly getting lighter . . . I decided it was shower time.

While in the shower I had an excellent thought . . . no not that you perverts. I thought that if it is going to cost us $50 dollars to check our bag that weighed 75 pounds why not split it up into two separate checked bags each weighing 50 pounds for a total of 100 pounds for the same price . . . Oh my God I'm a Genius when I'm in the shower. I guess I should have on installed at work. I shared my idea with Joanie and realized the wound of working all day packing and the idea of unpacking were mixing with anger like oil and water or at the very least some type of explosive . . . BAM! Well after she let the idea marinate for a few minutes she started throwing . . . I mean removing various items from the enormous suitcase and throwing . . . I mean transferring them into the two smaller suitcases.

To my delight the stress started to drain from Joanie's body like the proverbial bathtub of shit that it was. Life was good again. Not only did everything fit there was room for a few things that were abandoned in the shit storm.

Now on to the present day . . .

Gilligan's Log Friday August 12th 12:20pm . . . the Crows arrive. the crows arrived it our vessel for the first leg of our journey . . . the trip to O Town for our sleep - park - fly adventure. We packed the 8 suitcase's and 4 backpacks in the rear of S.S. Durango and gathered for a Bon Voyage Picture . . . DAMN WE ARE A GOOD LOOKING BUNCH! After the goodbyes and wishes for a safe trip were exchanged we stepped aboard our trusty vessel and we were off . . . It was about time! :)

Our Journey was successful with the assistance of Our Tom Tom GPS cleverly disguised as Eric Cartman. So with a few references to Kyles Mom's Vagina and some name calling by Mr. Cartman we arrived safely at the Day's Hotel in O town. We checked in very quickly and were off to take our luggage to our respective rooms. We entered the first floor to a nice warm rush of the smell of ass matter and old sweaty balls . . . Holy Shit let the good times roll. We crammed into the elevator and proceeded to the third floor hoping that the smell of ass was confined to the first floor . . . luckily it was. We entered our rooms and Bed Bug Barney (Dennis), with Clark Pest Control, was off to work. The check for bed bugs was on and I am proud to report resulted in an "All Clear" report.

Bed Bugs . . . Check!

With that all important pest inspection completed it was off to fisherman's wharf for dinner. With a few more references to Kyle moms vagina we arrived at the parking garage across from Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco. The plan was for dinner at Bubba Gumps . . . But first a quick stop to buy Joanie a sweatshirt. I had forgot to load her sweatshirt at the house and it was a sweltering 64 degrees and breezy on the pier. With sweatshirt on we made our way to Bubba Gumps on pier 39. After we were seated the first order of business was at hand . . . DRINKS . . . More precisely . . . BLUE HAWAII'S ALL AROUND! this was followed by hor'dourves and 4 buckets of Boat Trash. It was on fine meal that's for sure. As we left the restaurant Dennis began to feel the grumble of what was possibly a Colon Cleanse session. So back to the restroom to drop a bomb . . . KABOOM.

The "Post Bomb" adventure had definite agenda items planned . . . that of the Candy store and Ms. Fields Cookie store . . . Shit so much for the diet . . . hell who cares it's vacation time. :)

With goodies in hand it was off to the S.S. Durango to begin our journey back to the O Town Taj Mahal. It was only a mere 45 minute to get from Fisherman's Wharf onto the bay Bridge . . . There are some very rude and angry people in this city. So I decided to join them in a bout of tourettes syndrome outbursts. So after various references to vagina's and some well placed "Fuck Yous" traffic was on the move. We were again at the mercy of Eric Cartman guiding us merrily back to our hotel by way Kyles Mom's Vagina along with a few "Fucking Jew" references. Well Cartman proceeded to take us on a scenic route of a very isolated and industrial area of O Town. Thank god the S.S. Durango did leaves us stranded here. After a few minutes of tension we were back on track and minutes later the O Town Taj Mahal was in sight.

We arrived safely back at our hotel. We parked the S.S. Durango where it would be safe for the next 14 days and while positioning the sunshades and the parking pass the rear view mirror felt it was time to leave the windshield and fall off like the wheels of a cheap suitcase . . . we laughed so hard I Peed a little. I think I need to pick up some Poise light bladder leakage pads if this sort of thing continues . . . DAMN!

So with the warm welcoming Smell of Ass and a quick elevator ride we were in our rooms . . . but wait . . . something was missing . . . MILK! So it was decided to walk to AM/PM to purchase some moo juice and midnight snacks. That's right . . . 4 very white people on foot on the streets of O Town. With AM/PM only 1 block away we felt relatively safe in our planned outing. that was until we met some of O Towns finest homeless people panhandling outside the AM/PM. Joanie tightened her grip on my arm like a God Damn Boa Constrictor . . . OWWW!. Safely inside of AM/PM, moo juice and snack were purchased . . . but wait . . . how are we going to pass by the homeless people on foot with Ho Ho's and Yoo-Hoo in a bag, without being robbed? We did what any white person visiting O Town would do in a very uncomfortable situation . . . We proceeded to sneak out the back and around rear of the store to avoid the harassment of the homeless. With some serious butt puckering of our little white assess were we once again hit in the face with the familiar smel of Eau'de Ass, with a quick elevator ride we went into our respective suites (not really) for the evening.

Today was an adventure full of laughs and the Smell of Ass . . . we can't wait to see what tomorrow brings . . . until then . . . Gilligan out!