Northshore . . . BBQ . . . Fire Fire Fire!

Gilligan's Log Wednesday August 24th 2011 . . .

We all must have been pretty tired as we slept until 7:30am this morning . . . right through the crowing roosters and all. Once up and about we did our various morning rituals such as blogging, breakfast and picture reviews of the previous days adventures. The agenda today was the north shore trip to visit Princeville and Hanalei and everything in between.

We we packed an ice chest with some drinks and left the homestead for the first stop . . . Costco Gas Station. After fueling up the S.S. Escape we were off to our adventure. We took a leisurely drive along the east coastline through familiar towns such as Lihue' and Kapaa' and wound up at our first stop . . . The Lighthouse at Kilaluea. There were more pictures taken from the scenic vista area of the point where the lighthouse site and it was a spectacular view. We then decided to spring for the $5 per person to walk out to the point where the lighthouse is an look at some Boobies. That's right boys and girls we saw Boobies and even took some pictures of a really nice pair of Boobies. . . Red Footed Boobies That Is . . . Get your minds out of the gutter! We spent about 45 minutes taking pictures and visiting the gift shop / museum. Dennis was trying to get pictures of the Boobies but was a little apprehensive because of the size of the piles of bird shit that scattered the grounds. If a Boobie shit directly on you, you stood the chance of being knocked on your ass . . . Holy Shit that there is a lot of POOP! However the blog readers would not be lucky enough to read about Dennis or anyone of the Castaway's being shit on by a Boobie . . . I know . . . DAMN! There were some really cute chicks that we got some closeup pictures of, we couldn't help ourselves. The two we got pictures of were a little on the young side but what the hell there mom wasn't around . . . I'm still talking about birds people. Honestly Dennis and I are respectable married gentlemen what the Hell did you think I was talking about . . . shame on you! We left the Kilaluea Lighthouse and drove further up the coast to visit various beaches like Anini Beach and Tunnels Beach and along the way I drove on a back road until it came to a dead end. This road offered up some very cool photo opportunities along the way too.

We went over numerous one lane bridges and finally wound up at the end of the road . . . literally the end of the road. On Kauai the road around the island doesn't actually connect there is about an 8 to 10 mile of the Napali coast that can only be seen from the ocean. Right towards the end of the road we stopped and took pictures of two caves, one wet and one dry. Dennis and I walked all the way into the back of the dry cave which was about 100 feet deep to the back wall. I was dark and very creepy. The fact that an entire mountain is above you is eerie to think about, and with all of these freak earth quakes they have been having all over the world . . . It was time to get the hell out of the cave. We went back to the S.S. Escape to begin the journey back to the south shore and the first thing that Dennis did was he broke into his emergency stash of granola bars. This was the signal that one of the Castaway's was in distress and was now time to have lunch. We headed back to civilization to find him a Pizza, and a Pizza we did find. We had lunch a Hanalei Pizza, home of the table size large pizza. Our Pizza happened to be of the pepperoni variety, and it was delicious. After lunch we all walked around for a bit at the little mall area where the Pizza place was. There were no major purchases or anything funny to report here.

We wound our way back down the north and then east shores of the island and decided that there were a few things that we needed to round out our planned dinner of grilled pork tenderloin. So we decided to stop at Safeway . . . you know the whole “Club Card Savings”. We needed the fix-in’s for dinner like potatoes for baking, french bread and butter for the potatoes. We arrived in the produce section of Safeway and the girls picked out four baking potatoes that when weigh and the math completed would cost just over $10 for the four potatoes. You have got to be fucking kidding me . . . We must have found the God Damn lost Golden Potatoes of King Kamehameha . . . HOLY SHIT BETTY CROCKER! As you readers can probably imagine there was no way that we were going to pay over $10 for a starchy side dish . . No Fucking Way, Kiss My Ass, Bullshit, Son Of A Bitch and a big HELL NO! We opted for frozen potatoes and purchased two good sized bags of roasted potatoes for only $7. With our provisions in hand and the shock from the King Kamehameha potato incident we made our way to the checkout where our cashier's name Fucking Bitch. During our check out process the girls informed them that we had our club cards but forgot them back at the Timeshare and if we could just use our phone number instead. She immediately asked if we had the cards for a while both girls answered yes as we each had the cards for about 10 years. Joanie gave our phone number first and our cashier Fucking Bitch in her snottiest attitude proceeded to tell Joanie that that was not a valid number and if there was another number associated with the card. Hell no you stupid bitch we have had the same card and number for about 10 years . . . Ass! It was Pam's turn, and behold the Fucking Bitch once again in her snottiest attitude possible delivered the whole “Denied, Not Valid, Fucking No-Worky” lines as before. As if her fucking attitude wasn't enough she gave me brilliant instruction that maybe I should call Safeway . . . No Shit . . . Do You Think! So now not only has she become the S.S. Fucking Bitch she is insulting me by telling me to call Safeway . . . You Fucking C*nt . . . that's right I said it . . .C#NT! It was everything I could do to not have a rip shit of a fit and call shenanigans and that I want to see a manager you Fat Fucking Bitch . . . But I was a good boy. We filled out another Club Card application and now we have one in Kauai. Oh happy happy joy joy a chance to come back and visit Ms. Bitchy Pants again . . . I can hardly wait!

We left Safeway and headed back to the timeshare where after about an hour, dinner preparations were underway . . . Dennis on the grill . . . and the girls cooking up a side dish storm in the kitchen. Dennis was approached by a African American family who was inquiring as to what he was barbequing and if any was for sale. That's right you heard me . . . they wanted to buy food from Dennis. That's when Dennis decided to open up his roadside grillin' station known as Dennis' Grillin' Grub Hut. Walk up orders began to fly in and orders were filled by his topless waitresses and he even was able to obtain an instant liquor license and was serving beer, wine and Mai Tai's by the close of business . . . NOT! He did however denied the request to sell some of the tenderloin. Although in hind sight he could have sold half of the meat as we now have more tenderloin that we know what to do with. Dinner was Awesome and we all had our fill of great food. With dinner clean up and the dishes done we settled down to watch Jurassic Park. How fitting that we are on the island that it was filmed on too! It wasn't long before we heard a massive HISS like the Velociraptor in the movie . . . Pam went onto the balcony to investigate . . . HISSSS . . . Pam Jumped back. That's when she informed us that it was the AC unit in our room was hissing. Joanie went in a shut it off to give it a rest. We all lasted about another hour and we all decided it was bed time. Once in our respective room it was time to turn the AC back on. With a hiss and a shake it was off and running sounding like an old model T car breaking apart. After a few shudders and violent shakes that's when Joanie decided that she should shut it off. She got up turned on the light and shut the AC unit off. She then exclaimed . . . It's Smoking! I said no it's probably just cold compressed air from the compressor, but it soon became apparent by the smell of ozone from the burning electrical components that . . . HUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM! I sprung into action and unplugged the unit and ripped the front cover off of the AC unit to see if I could see what was burning. I was not able to identify the source of the smoke. Joanie called the front desk to report the incident and the work order has been placed with maintenance. We opened up all of our windows and were on a short 45 minute fire watch then we fell a sleep. I can imagine what time we will wake up tomorrow with all the windows open we may want to put sunblock on to avoid an early morning sunrise sunburn.

Well until we awake tomorrow or the middle of the night due to a structure fire Gilligan Out . . .