Spouting Horn . . . What The Hell Is A Spouting Horn . . .

Gilligan's Log Tuesday August 23rd 2011 . . .

When we last left our caped Castaway's they had completed their Tubing Adventure of the Jurassic Park Looking Area and by the end of the evening they were all fast asleep. Then just like clockwork the crow of the chickens to greet another beautiful day in paradise. Today's agenda would include Spouting Horn, Tropical Botanical Gardens, and Lydgate Beach Park to play in the Lagoon . . . A Pam Safe Lagoon.

Well after blogging and breakfast we were off on or day's adventures. First stop Spouting Horn. This is a lava tube that was formed millions of years ago. The unique thing about this lava tube is that when the waves crash into the shore it forces a column of water to shoot up and out of the lava tube gust like Old Faithful in Yellowstone . . . Except at the Ocen. The best thing about this natural wonder according to Joanie is the fact that there is a really cool fle market where a bunch of locals take advantage that the tourists come here over and over just like a bunch of waves crashing into the shore . . . only with open wallets. Yippeeee more shopping! After the pictures and videos were taken of the natural wonder the shopping continued. As a matter of fact I don't even think Pam & Joanie went to see the Spouting Horn but were taken in by the attraction known as the Flea Market . . .

Well after the Spouting Horn visit we were off to the Botanical Gardens to see about taking a tour to take some more amazing pictures of wild tropical plants. We arrived at the gardens after a 500 foot drive . . . damn that was quick. We parked and were immediately impressed by the garden area surrounding the parking lot and the pathway to the gift shop and area where you signed up for the tours. We took a shit load of pictures of these areas as there were amazing foliage everywhere. While I was taking pictures of the picnic area the rest of the Castaway's went into the gift shop / tour area to check on tour prices. When we met up just a short time later I was greeted by a great big group . . . HELL NO I DON'T THINK SO! It was $20 per person for the ability to walk through the gardens and guide yourself through to the end. That would be $80 for our group to be able to take pictures of plants . . . Who the hell pays that much to walk and take pictures. Don't even get me started about the tram ride and guided tours, although they were more expensive at least you got a ride and a guide. As you probably guessed we left the gardens without dropping $80 . . . The girls would rather spend that shopping . . . Oh wait . . . they already did!

We we off to Lydgate Beach Park, but first we had to make a detour for lunch. We decided to not go with a burger but to try something different. So I was looking for a local dive to try. As we drove around the rest of the Castaway's gave their commentary which ranged from “I'm Not Fucking Eating There” to “I Don't Fucking Think So” and I think I even heard a “What The Fuck Is Po's Kitchen?”. Well I finally just pulled into a place called Dani's . . . Not to be confused with Denny's. This was a hole in the wall which offered Hawaiian, American and Japanese cuisine. What a way to begin the afternoon portion of our day. There we sat on the verge of what could prove to be a colon exploding experience should something be amiss with the food. We all agreed that we would all have the special as the waitress was nice enough to point out the dish on the neighboring diners plate when we asked what came with the Garlic Chicken. It actually looked rather good and safe. Although you know what they say about the specials . . . It's a restaurants way of getting rid of old food on the verge of turning into a case of food poisoning . . . let's hope not! So with fingers crossed we ate the specials with a strict pact that if anyone in the group was to have any signs of gastric disturbances they were to alert the group as this very well could end up in a literal Shit Storm!

We arrived at Lydgate Beach Park and slopped on the sunblock for what promised to be a day of relaxation and easy ocean play in the lagoon for any of the Castaway's that may have had issues with ocean play in the past . . . I'm not mentioning any names Pam so don't think it's you that I'm referring to. Dennis was chomping at the bit to try his new Boogie Board so I took him to the Big Boy Beach because the Lagoon had no waves. We hiked just short way to the wavy beach and it was now time for Boogie Man Dennis to experience Boogie Boarding for the first time. Dennis entered the ocean and soon found out that to paddle out to where the waves were rising and could get a Boogie Boarder moving was a Holy Shit of a chore. It was a series of five paddles forward and three paddles worth moving back towards the beach, five paddles forward and three paddles worth moving back towards the beach . . . Over again. When he got where he thought the waves would take him speeding towards shore he turn towards the shore and kicked his feet, only to find that you have to really kick like your life depended on it because with only slight kicking you barely went anywhere. You did however go just far enough to make it a pain in the ass to get back to where you started . . . more paddling and kicking Dennis . . . You can Do It! I was his personal cheerleader . . . Give Me A “D” . . . Give Me A “E” . . . Give Me A “N” . . . Give Me A “N” . . . Give Me A “I” . . . Give Me A “S” . . . Go DENNIS! The construction workers on the bridge behind me must have thought we were a Gay Couple. I didn't care my friend was facing the dangers of sharks and deadly rip currents to get his Boogie on and I was there for him. The little engine that could tried again . . . Strike two! He turned around again Paddle, Paddle, Paddle and oh yeah Paddle! Here comes the wave, Dennis lined up, He turned, he began to paddle and kick like a shark was up his ass, the wave was upon him, the wave started to push him . . . could this be the one . . . nope . . . the wave let him go. He was spent and decide to paddle in to the beach. On the way in he caught a little wave and I even was able to snap an action photo of this and as far as everyone is concerned, except for those of you reading this, he rode this 7 foot wave into the shore from 100 yards out . . . Dennis Is The Fucking Boogie King!!!(Not to be confused with the Burger King)

After a short period to recuperate we headed back to the lagoon to see how the girls were doing. The girls were doing great and nobody had suffered and injuries . . . I'm not talking about you Pam . . . don't be so paranoid. We all entered the lagoon only to find out that Dennis can't float on his back. He sinks like he has lead in his ass. The girls talked him through the whole arch your back and relax portion of the back floating lesson . . . and there he was float for two seconds then sink. We needed to get floaties for Dennis but not even the little toddlers had any we could borrow . . . damn everyone keep your eyes on Dennis just in case. We soaked up the sun and relaxed for a while. We decided it was time to leave and head back to the timeshare, but not before more shopping. This time we went to Hilo Hatties. You can't make a trip to the islands without a visit to both Hilo Hatties and the ABC Store. The shopping lasted about 45 minutes and bargains of all kinds were found . . . NOT! This shopping trip was over $100 . . . DAMN! With the shopping trip done we agreed that the only way to recuperate from the days event was a nice soak in the spa and drinks . . . Did I mention Drinks? I went to the spa with my beers in hand while the rest of the Castaway's went to the poolside bar to purchase a happy hour Mai Tai. We soaked in the spa for about 45 minutes taking about the days event and smelling the BBQing that was going on all around. We couldn't take it any more . . . It was time to grill. The male Castaway's grilled some hot dogs while the girls prepared a salad and chili to round out the chili dog feast that was about to take place.

With dinner and dishes done we watched what had to be the most pathetic episode of America's Got Talent . . . Bullshit They Do! Every act was in the semi final round and they should have all been performing in the Special Olympics, and even then I think they would have lost . . . they all Blew Dog! It was like watching a car accident . . . you know it's bad but you can't help yourself. After the hour and many acts that ranged from a woman singing upside down while playing a piano, to a gay disco ball of a singer, and even a bunch of dancers who had light up suits that didn't light up . . . Wow What Talent. It was now time to cal it a night we all turned in to a well deserved sleep. Tomorrow we venture to the North Coast. So come back and see what the Castaway's get themselves into . . .