Pool Side Stories . . . Polihale' . . . Pictures . . .

Gilligan's Log Sunday August 21st 2011 . . .

Well today's agenda is very light and this entry will be short. The Castaway's awoke to another beautiful Kauaiian Morning full of sunshine and crowing roosters. The only thing that they had planned was for a trip to Costco and Kmart in the morning and an evening trip to Polihale' Beach for some sunset photographs. The whole Costco / Kmart trip was uneventful and there was nothing funny to report.

We arrived back at the timeshare and unpacked or provisions. Joanie and the Crow's decided that after lunch they were going to go to the pool to relax and soak up some rays. Well as anyone who follows the adventures of the Castaway's knows, even on a “Do Nothing” day something is bound to happen. I decided to stay behind and upload some picture to the Photobucket page so the Castaway's followers could see some of the pictures from the trip so far. The other castaway's had not even been gone 45 minutes when I get a text from Joanie that said that Dennis wanted me to come to the pool because there were some “Blog Worthy” thing going on. I told her that I would in a bit but I was really concentrating on the picture upload project right now. Something told me I should have went to the pool.

The next part of the blog is presented to you the reader second had by me from the stories of the Castaway's who witnessed it . . .

The pool visit started of like any other, the selecting of the perfect lounge chair to get the perfect amount of sun, the organizing of the belongings that the castaway's brought with them, the spreading of the towels, and then it happened . . . Enter the cast of characters. Fat Grimace, Butterball, The Snaggle -Toothed Blonde and The He-She. Fat Grimace was a portly gentleman who appeared to be married or at least attached in some manner to Butterball. The Snaggle Toothed Blonde and the He-She had all of the outward signs of a Horny Lesbian couple. As the He-She ran to enter the pool Dennis was puzzled as to whether this was a man in a sports bra and possibly just a gender confused young man. That's when Pam reassured him that this in fact was a female. It soon became evident that “It” and the Snaggle-Toothed Blonde were a couple . . . a couple of horny, dry humping, kiss everyone in their party lesbians. That's right you read it correctly . . . Dry humping and kiss everyone in their party lesbians. The castaway's noticed this unusually pool frolicking that was happening along with everyone else that was poolside. However the frolicker's were oblivious to everyone’s disapproving stares and appeared to be intoxicated. As the frolicking turned a little rough the Snaggle-Toothed Blonde over run with passion for He-She lunged in suddenly to lay a big wet sloppy lesbian lip-lock on “It” and ended up simply head butting the He-She and damn near knocked it out.

As with any good drama that what happened next the He-She proceeded to act dizzy and wobbled to an fro and even got the attention of a poolside attendant and a gentleman who appeared to be a Doctor. You always see this kind of shit in the movies but for it to happen in front of your eyes is amazing . . . is there a doctor in the house . . . Holy Shit there was! The good old Doctor gave the He-She a cursory examination and determined that It and everyone in the party was apparently intoxicated. The end result of the examination was that the Fire Department and Paramedics were call . . . What the Fuck! They called the ambulance and fire department for an accidental head butt are you fucking kidding me! Sure enough it wasn't long and the sirens arrived. I had no idea why there was a fire engine and ambulance arriving on the grounds because I was in the room and not witnessing the Lesbian Head Butting occurring at the pool. I ventured to the main arrival area to see if I could find out what was happening so I would be able to have a story for the rest of the castaway's upon their return. Little did I know that they had front row seats to the unfolding drama . . . Shit I should have gone to the pool with them. However as the story was being told back to me I soon realized that I was lucky that I didn't go with them as Joanie informed me that the elderly lady sitting next to her (Would have been sitting next to me, had I gone) stood up and bent over and an eighty year old titty flopped out at her ans it took a few seconds for this elderly woman to scoop it up and wrangle it back into its corral . . . Holy Shit What Next! Well the Lesbian refused medical treatment and the firemen and paramedics wasted no time in leaving the scene. The most amazing thing was that Fat Grimace was at the Snack Shack getting everyone in the party Snacks and Drinks and didn't even know that the emergency crews were there administering care to the He-She.

After this interesting cast of characters settled down enter the small Towel Tossing Boy. There was a family with the intentions of having a leisurely trip to the pool and decided to enroll the slave labor of their youngest and smallest child to carry the oversized ball of beach towels to the pool area. As the towels began to shift and drag in the water they became heavier and heavier and one finally fell in the pool . . . Yes! As the slave child bent over to retrieve the fallen towel . . . you guessed it another one fell in . . . Double Yes! As luck would have it for the sake of the blog the little boy soon dropped all of the towels half in the pool half in the sand making a huge fucking mess. All this happened to the slave boy's screams of “I Need Help . . . I Need Help”. The slave boy was at his wits end and just began kicking the towels as it was no use in trying to pick them up as they now weighed twice what this little slave child weighed. There was a look of “What The Hell” on the fathers face . . . but that's what you get when you use the Salve Child” to do the heavy work.

After this incident the Castaway's had had enough fun in the sun for one day. They headed back to the room to share their stories with me. Upon their arrival it was now story time and adult beverage time. We enjoying a frosty beverage and I was entertained by their stories from the poolside. We had snacks and got ready to head out to Polihale' beach for our sunset photo shoot. We ventured down the bumpy dirt road and proceeded to claim our spot for the photo shoot. We found a spot over looking the beach with a clear shot of the setting sun complete with bat's, chihuahua's, sand fleas and even two more lesbians. Everyone should know that the Castaway's always find the best stories whether or not they want too. So as the sun proceeded to set and the chihuahuas began to explore Pam and Joanie's sitting area, Dennis and I took a lot of pictures, I mean a shit load of pictures. I took 288 pictures from all angles and vantage point to try and incorporate as much of the local foliage as possible. Our photo shoot lasted about an hour and as you can guess once the sun goes down the critters begin to move about. The girls quickly gathered their towels and things and hauled ass to the S.S. Escape for security reasons . . . All is good in the safety of the S.S. Escape! I drank a beer for the road and we were soon off to experience the long bumpy road and it's wild life in the pitch black. Nervous Nelly aka Joanie, was in the back seat making worried commentary about “What if They Locked The Gate”. As we were driving and as luck would have we came to the locked gate . . . You Have Got to Be Fucking Kidding Me they locked the God Damn Gate was mine and Dennis' exclamation! Joanie shit her pants and started to panic. We let her off the hook by letting her know that this was not the gate out but just a gate to some field area. She was not to happy with that little prank . . . relieved but not happy. We drove a little further and a very large owl-like bird took off across the road so I thought it would be a good idea to cream real loud and the chain reaction occurred and there was a unanimous scream emanating from the S.S. Escape it was AWESOME! We drove a little further and it was now time for me to speed up and turn the lights off . . . Complete darkness. The commentary provided by Dennis summed it up for the rest of the Castaway's . . . HOLY SHIT! Needles to say I was slapped by Joanie but it was well worth it to experience the panic that filled to S.S. Escape at the moment when the lights went out. We soon reached the pavement and all was right in the S.S. Escape again.

We arrived back at the room for a late dinner of french bread pizza and a movie. Do yourself a favor, if you ever get the chance to see the movie Timber Falls . . . DON'T! This is by far the stupidest movie I think I have ever seen. I won't even waste you time trying to explain the movie as I have already spent too much time as it is . . . Just DO NOT See This Piece of Shit Movie! With 90 minutes of my life wasted that I will not get back it was bed time.

Tomorrow is the tubing Adventure day and should have a few stories to tell . . . Until tomorrow Gilligan has left the building . . .

AREN'T YOU GLAD THAT IT WAS A SHORT BLOG ENTRY . . .