Well today is our final morning in the igloo . . . It’s travel day. We woke up at what is known in Vegas as witching hour . . . In other words too fucking early for Vegas. We had a huge breakfast and managed to eat all of the remaining food in the igloo pantry and refrigerator . . . Just kidding it was a Rockstar and Starbucks kind of breakfast.
We went downstairs to check out and summon our last Uber ride two hours before our planes scheduled boarding. As anyone who has traveled out of McCarren airport knows the lines are long and security can be a bitch. We arrived at the Allegiant ticket counter and to my surprise . . . No line . . . WTF this never happens. So it was off to dreaded TSA security. We arrived to the security checkpoint and the switchback line path was empty . . . Seriously WTF. It’s like it was a zombie apocalypse and we were the only survivors. There were three lines with no waiting and we were through security in a matter of minutes . . . OMG am I dead and this is the afterlife? We proceeded to our gate to settle in as we only had an hour and a half before our plane boarded . . . Thank Jesus we were early!
Well we boarded the plane and awaited the fresh new he’ll that was to come . . .
Well the lines started to form and the boarding began and I couldn't help but notice the inordinate amount of babies that were going to be on this flight . . . Fo fuck sake I began to have a flash back of our trip here . . . NOOOO! The boarding complete and not a peep from any of the babies . . . They must have been moved under the plane in the luggage hold . . . Hmmm. The flight hit a few potholes leaving Las Vegas and a few Cows entering the Stockton area but other than that it was smooth sailing. Baggage claim next where as luck would have it all of our luggage arrived and only the wife's bag had been raped by TSA. Bags in hand and parking paid it was off to Little Land . . . Home at last! The dogs greeted us with a snarl an bark soon followed by tail wagging and sloppy kisses . . . Man is it good to be home. Well until my next post . . . Be safe . . . And keep reading my post for more comedy updates.
Saturday, August 10, 2019
Friday, August 9, 2019
Sisters Sin City Adventure . . . Day Six
Well today is our last day in Las Vegas and it has been a fun trip but like any vacation . . . It's definately time to go home. The biggest annoying factor is the crowds . . . Yes the crowds are always bad but now they all have cell phones which turns people into . . . "FUCKERS" that dont pay attention . . . I'm so done!
Today's adventure is a free dinner on Diamond Resorts and the show Human Nature which is a Motown show. We left the igloo at around 3pm to head over to the El Segundo Sol mexican restaurant. the food and drinks were good but then as my wife's sister put it "It's pretty hard to fuck up Mexican food". After we ate it was a quicker uber to the Venetian for the show . . . So we killed about an hour in the casino just gambling and people watching . . . BTW when did 21 years old start looking so fucking young . . . Damn I'm old and the proof is when we got to the show. It was a blue haired convention. With us as the parade of youngins. The show was awesome and the harmonies were great.
After the show it was time to hike mount uber as the uber pick up is on the 3rd floor of the parking garage. After a short uber to the igloo we started the task of packing . . . Or should I say the wife started packing. Now before you judge me and call me a chauvinist for those of you that know my wife know just how anal she is . . . And not the "Fuck me in the butt" anal either.
So after all that work she worked our appetites up . . . Plus we still have a shitload of food to eat. We had a virtual smorgasbord of miscellaneous crap that most crackheads would call normal. In no time we ate and sat up while our crack meal digested . . . Then it was off to bed. Stay tuned for our travels back to little land tomorrow . . . Stay tuned . . .
Today's adventure is a free dinner on Diamond Resorts and the show Human Nature which is a Motown show. We left the igloo at around 3pm to head over to the El Segundo Sol mexican restaurant. the food and drinks were good but then as my wife's sister put it "It's pretty hard to fuck up Mexican food". After we ate it was a quicker uber to the Venetian for the show . . . So we killed about an hour in the casino just gambling and people watching . . . BTW when did 21 years old start looking so fucking young . . . Damn I'm old and the proof is when we got to the show. It was a blue haired convention. With us as the parade of youngins. The show was awesome and the harmonies were great.
After the show it was time to hike mount uber as the uber pick up is on the 3rd floor of the parking garage. After a short uber to the igloo we started the task of packing . . . Or should I say the wife started packing. Now before you judge me and call me a chauvinist for those of you that know my wife know just how anal she is . . . And not the "Fuck me in the butt" anal either.
So after all that work she worked our appetites up . . . Plus we still have a shitload of food to eat. We had a virtual smorgasbord of miscellaneous crap that most crackheads would call normal. In no time we ate and sat up while our crack meal digested . . . Then it was off to bed. Stay tuned for our travels back to little land tomorrow . . . Stay tuned . . .
Sisters Sin City Adventure . . . Day Five
Today is the day for the Fremont Street Expirience . . . A.K.A the freak show. So the day started with a hearty breakfast at the igloo when we realized that we have a fuck ton of food in the igloo to eat . . . So today is the day to gain weight. Breakfast consisted of Jimmy Dean sausage biscuits, chips and followed up with ice cream cones. So currently we have the following food items left from the hungry shopping trip back on day one: one box of Cheerios, hot dogs with buns, four ice cream cones, one six pack of bagels, two dozen cookies, candy bars, one bag of Cheetos, two packs of sliced cheddar cheese, two boxes of crackers, one quarter of a pack of lunch meat ham, one half a pack of lunch meat turkey, one bag of goldfish crackers, six diet cokes, four diet Dr. Peppers, one jar of peanut butter, and one jar of jelly . . . What the fuck were we thinking getting so much food . . . Lesson . . . Never shop when you're hungry.
So after our breakfast feast we slowly got ready to go to the Venetian to pick up show tickets. We ubered there and began our first hike of the day. My wife's sister was amazed by the details and architecture of the Venetian. With tickets in hand it was now time to uber to fremont street. We went to the main hotel pick up / drop off area only to find out that uber is only allowed to pick up on the third floor of the garage . . . Son Of A Bitch . . . We had to hike all the way to the back of the casino to the garage . . . Damn we are cursed with forced excercise! We finally arrived at the uber pick up and were whisked away to the freakshow . . . I mean Fremont street.
We arrived at Fremont Street and began at one end on the south side of the street and began our adventure by what else . . . Shopping for souvenirs. one shop . . . Two shops . . . Three shops . . . Four . . . Holy shit man I can't take no more! Most of the shopping trip I spent outside taking in the parade of freaky people and street performers. There were many thong wearing young girls where you can pose with and have your picture taken. This is something you see when in vegas . . . The thing you don't see is a father having his 12 year old son have his picture taken with these ladies of the night . . . Where is the mom . . . I know she wouldn't let her baby ogle the bare asses up so close . . . But dad did WTF. As if this wasn't bad enough the other street performers consisted of a fat guy in a pink bikini wearing bunny ears, a naked guy wearing a tiny banana hammock with a sign about making American Naked Again, a fat bearded guy dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and if that wasn't bad enough the wife's sister was approached by a shirtless peach of a guy claiming to be a white supremacist veteran and was very proud . . . And did I mention he was drunk . . . Oh yeah he was hammered. We soldier on to the west end of Fremont Street and stopped at one of the stages and watched a large group of people doing the cha cha slide . . . I have to admit it was pretty cool. We took a break in a Starbucks for some seated people watching and noticed that there were alot of people with multiple children in tow . . . Who would think when " i want to take my family on a nice family vacation . . . I know I'll take them to the adult playground known as Sin City" . . . Seriously WTF. Hell I'd be worried I would lose one in the crowd. We even saw a toddler about 50 feet away from its parents pushing its stroller and the parents completely oblivious to the fact that their baby was wandering off . . . Holy Shit Batman. We finished our Fremont Street Expirience and was now time to uber back to the igloo. With souvenirs in hand and memories of the freaks in our heads that will last s lifetime it was off to the igloo . . . To eat . . . And eat we did.
Our five star dinner consisted of hot dogs (with cheese), Doritos, Cheetos, Soda and topped of with ice cream cones . . . More food now gone. It was time for bed to dream of the horrors that we had seen tonight on our Fremont Street Adventure. Stay tuned for our final day in Sin City . . .
So after our breakfast feast we slowly got ready to go to the Venetian to pick up show tickets. We ubered there and began our first hike of the day. My wife's sister was amazed by the details and architecture of the Venetian. With tickets in hand it was now time to uber to fremont street. We went to the main hotel pick up / drop off area only to find out that uber is only allowed to pick up on the third floor of the garage . . . Son Of A Bitch . . . We had to hike all the way to the back of the casino to the garage . . . Damn we are cursed with forced excercise! We finally arrived at the uber pick up and were whisked away to the freakshow . . . I mean Fremont street.
We arrived at Fremont Street and began at one end on the south side of the street and began our adventure by what else . . . Shopping for souvenirs. one shop . . . Two shops . . . Three shops . . . Four . . . Holy shit man I can't take no more! Most of the shopping trip I spent outside taking in the parade of freaky people and street performers. There were many thong wearing young girls where you can pose with and have your picture taken. This is something you see when in vegas . . . The thing you don't see is a father having his 12 year old son have his picture taken with these ladies of the night . . . Where is the mom . . . I know she wouldn't let her baby ogle the bare asses up so close . . . But dad did WTF. As if this wasn't bad enough the other street performers consisted of a fat guy in a pink bikini wearing bunny ears, a naked guy wearing a tiny banana hammock with a sign about making American Naked Again, a fat bearded guy dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and if that wasn't bad enough the wife's sister was approached by a shirtless peach of a guy claiming to be a white supremacist veteran and was very proud . . . And did I mention he was drunk . . . Oh yeah he was hammered. We soldier on to the west end of Fremont Street and stopped at one of the stages and watched a large group of people doing the cha cha slide . . . I have to admit it was pretty cool. We took a break in a Starbucks for some seated people watching and noticed that there were alot of people with multiple children in tow . . . Who would think when " i want to take my family on a nice family vacation . . . I know I'll take them to the adult playground known as Sin City" . . . Seriously WTF. Hell I'd be worried I would lose one in the crowd. We even saw a toddler about 50 feet away from its parents pushing its stroller and the parents completely oblivious to the fact that their baby was wandering off . . . Holy Shit Batman. We finished our Fremont Street Expirience and was now time to uber back to the igloo. With souvenirs in hand and memories of the freaks in our heads that will last s lifetime it was off to the igloo . . . To eat . . . And eat we did.
Our five star dinner consisted of hot dogs (with cheese), Doritos, Cheetos, Soda and topped of with ice cream cones . . . More food now gone. It was time for bed to dream of the horrors that we had seen tonight on our Fremont Street Adventure. Stay tuned for our final day in Sin City . . .
Thursday, August 8, 2019
Sisters Sin City Adventure . . . Day Four.
Well the start to a new day started with sleeping the fuck in . . . Because I'm just that old. We hung around the igloo until about 4 O'clock and then we were off to set up our free show tickets compliments of Diamond Resorts. The shows that we were setting up were Vegas The Show and Marc Savard comedy hypnosis.
We had about an hour and a half before our first show so what to do with time to burn . . . Well go to a bar of course. We went to Blondies where they have a you can drink happy hour for $20 . . . What a deal. We sat in the bar and did our best to drink $100 worth of drinks . . . We wanted to make sure we got our money's worth . . . Success. With our new found buzz on we went to our first show . . . Vegas The Show.
I have always wanted to go to an old school Vegas show with showgirls and a variety of acts and this show did not disappoint. There wasn't much of anything unusual that happened of you dont count the professional escort sitting with the 70 year old man next to us . . . She was wearing the see through dress . . . Thigh thighs and black thong . . . It was clear it wasn't his daughter. If it was . . . Ewww. The show was amazing and I recommend seeing it if you are looking for an old school Vegas show.
After the show we had more time to burn before our next show . . . So what to do . . . Yup go back to Blondies. I was the only one that did the all you can drink . . . Which actually wasn't supposed to happen for an hour but they let me have the special any way . . . They were super cool at Blondies. After another drink fest it was on to the hypnotist show . . . Damn was it fun. The stuff he had the poor unsuspecting audience members do was hilarious. We had an awesome time and had some really good laughs.
After the show it was off to the casino to do a little gambling. As usual I'm stingy with my money and gambled only for a little while and ended up with an extra $50 . . . So I stopped . . . Winner winner chicken dinner. The wife doubled her money and stopped too . . . Double winner winner chicken dinners. Got back to the igloo at 2:30am . . . Yup like a bunch of 20 something's . . . We will feel it in the morning I'm sure. Stick a fork in me I'm done for the day . . . More to come tomorrow so stay tuned . . .
We had about an hour and a half before our first show so what to do with time to burn . . . Well go to a bar of course. We went to Blondies where they have a you can drink happy hour for $20 . . . What a deal. We sat in the bar and did our best to drink $100 worth of drinks . . . We wanted to make sure we got our money's worth . . . Success. With our new found buzz on we went to our first show . . . Vegas The Show.
I have always wanted to go to an old school Vegas show with showgirls and a variety of acts and this show did not disappoint. There wasn't much of anything unusual that happened of you dont count the professional escort sitting with the 70 year old man next to us . . . She was wearing the see through dress . . . Thigh thighs and black thong . . . It was clear it wasn't his daughter. If it was . . . Ewww. The show was amazing and I recommend seeing it if you are looking for an old school Vegas show.
After the show we had more time to burn before our next show . . . So what to do . . . Yup go back to Blondies. I was the only one that did the all you can drink . . . Which actually wasn't supposed to happen for an hour but they let me have the special any way . . . They were super cool at Blondies. After another drink fest it was on to the hypnotist show . . . Damn was it fun. The stuff he had the poor unsuspecting audience members do was hilarious. We had an awesome time and had some really good laughs.
After the show it was off to the casino to do a little gambling. As usual I'm stingy with my money and gambled only for a little while and ended up with an extra $50 . . . So I stopped . . . Winner winner chicken dinner. The wife doubled her money and stopped too . . . Double winner winner chicken dinners. Got back to the igloo at 2:30am . . . Yup like a bunch of 20 something's . . . We will feel it in the morning I'm sure. Stick a fork in me I'm done for the day . . . More to come tomorrow so stay tuned . . .
Wednesday, August 7, 2019
Sisters Sin City Adventure . . . Day Three
The day started at 7am . . . Yes 7am . . . I know, who in the fuck gets up at 7am when they are Las Vegas . . . Right!?! Well if you own a timeshare one of the common things they do is give you a shitload of free stuff . . . But the trade off is you have to sit through a "90 minute" owner's update . . . So 4 hours later . . . Yes that's right you read that right . . . "4 Fucking Hours Later" we finally made our way back to the igloo to rest up before today's outing to dinner and a show.
After our rest a beautification we were off to the meeting place to leave to the Wynn hotel to attack the buffet and se a show. We arrive and walked the green mile to the buffet. Our event coordinator told us where the buffet and where the theater was and to meet her back at this location after the show. Now I'm no genius but when you tell 100 people you're on your own you are bound to have a few idiots in the crowd that can't follow instructions to save their ass . . . More on that in a bit.
So it was off to the buffet to stand in the VIP line. Now the VIP status has a certain connotation of being speciall, but when there are 100 VIP's . . . Not so much. After a short 35 minute wait in line with 100 of our fellow VIP's we were turned loose like a bunch of locusts on a new crop. There was food to the left and food to the right . . . Holy Shit . . . SO MUCH FOOD! We ate and ate and ate until we couldn't eat anymore . . . Then we ate dessert . . . There's always room for two things . . . Alcohol and Dessert! After our gorge fest we waddled out of the food paradise and explored the Wynn with about an hour before the show was to begin. This casino and hotel are both very nice and may stay here one day . . . But for now it was time to waddle to the theater for the show Le Reve (The dream).
We entered the beautiful and ventured to our seats where the age old question of ass to face or crotch to face came into play as there were already people sitting the row . . . As usual I always go crotch to face as you never know when you'll get lucky. We got to our seats and settled in for the show. The lights dimmed and the show began in what can only be described as a feast for the senses. The show Le Reve is a mix of acrobatics, comedy and aquatics that was simply amazing. There were amazing aerial stunts, feats of strength of not only the male but female performers alike. I highly recommend going to see this show if you get a chance as it will not only leave you stunned but will make you want to go to the gym and work on getting in better shape . . . Not me but maybe you would.
After the show it was back to the predefined meeting location to meet our event coordinator. As I mentioned earlier there are always a few morons in the crowd that can't follow instructions . . . And tonight was no exception. As we waited while our event coordinator headed the cats and assembled the fucktards that couldn't follow the instructions for shit er made our way back to our transportation to go back to the igloo. we arrived back at the igloo full of excitement from what we had just experienced . . . This was short lived once we sat down in the igloo and we realized just how tired we were. We agreed it would be best if we went to bed and started fresh in th morning. Well not so fast as we agreed we could not go to bed at 9:15 . . . Mainly because we were not residents of a rest home and it was the principle of the Vegas experience. So the clock struck 10 and we scrambled like cockroaches when the light comes on . . . To bed we scrambled. To be continued . . .
After our rest a beautification we were off to the meeting place to leave to the Wynn hotel to attack the buffet and se a show. We arrive and walked the green mile to the buffet. Our event coordinator told us where the buffet and where the theater was and to meet her back at this location after the show. Now I'm no genius but when you tell 100 people you're on your own you are bound to have a few idiots in the crowd that can't follow instructions to save their ass . . . More on that in a bit.
So it was off to the buffet to stand in the VIP line. Now the VIP status has a certain connotation of being speciall, but when there are 100 VIP's . . . Not so much. After a short 35 minute wait in line with 100 of our fellow VIP's we were turned loose like a bunch of locusts on a new crop. There was food to the left and food to the right . . . Holy Shit . . . SO MUCH FOOD! We ate and ate and ate until we couldn't eat anymore . . . Then we ate dessert . . . There's always room for two things . . . Alcohol and Dessert! After our gorge fest we waddled out of the food paradise and explored the Wynn with about an hour before the show was to begin. This casino and hotel are both very nice and may stay here one day . . . But for now it was time to waddle to the theater for the show Le Reve (The dream).
We entered the beautiful and ventured to our seats where the age old question of ass to face or crotch to face came into play as there were already people sitting the row . . . As usual I always go crotch to face as you never know when you'll get lucky. We got to our seats and settled in for the show. The lights dimmed and the show began in what can only be described as a feast for the senses. The show Le Reve is a mix of acrobatics, comedy and aquatics that was simply amazing. There were amazing aerial stunts, feats of strength of not only the male but female performers alike. I highly recommend going to see this show if you get a chance as it will not only leave you stunned but will make you want to go to the gym and work on getting in better shape . . . Not me but maybe you would.
After the show it was back to the predefined meeting location to meet our event coordinator. As I mentioned earlier there are always a few morons in the crowd that can't follow instructions . . . And tonight was no exception. As we waited while our event coordinator headed the cats and assembled the fucktards that couldn't follow the instructions for shit er made our way back to our transportation to go back to the igloo. we arrived back at the igloo full of excitement from what we had just experienced . . . This was short lived once we sat down in the igloo and we realized just how tired we were. We agreed it would be best if we went to bed and started fresh in th morning. Well not so fast as we agreed we could not go to bed at 9:15 . . . Mainly because we were not residents of a rest home and it was the principle of the Vegas experience. So the clock struck 10 and we scrambled like cockroaches when the light comes on . . . To bed we scrambled. To be continued . . .
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