Day 1 Part 2 . . . Holy Shit!

Gilligan's log August 12th (Part 2)10:00pm . . .

When we last left the Castaways they were winging their way across the Pacific Ocean to Honolulu Airport. Well as luck would have their flight arrived safely without any problems . . . not even a crying baby!

The first order of business was to locate our next flights departure gate. This we soon found out was located on the other end of the airport. This information in most airports is usually enough to send you into a panic but this airport was nothing like LAX. We made our way the gate 52 in no time. The next item on te agenda was to have Pam and Dennis get their seat assignment's, because for some reason when the flight information was changed a few months ago the computer system wanted a ticket agent to meet them . . . So off to the Hawaiian Airlines Service Desk.

At the service desk there was a long ass line but like with everything here on the islands it was all handled with a smile and a friendly Aloha so the time in line went by fast. The seat assignment went off without a hitch too! Well that is if you count Pam being in an exit row helping everyone in the event of an emergency. I told the ticket agent that that would not be a problem as Pam would definitely ensure that the door and evacuation slide operated properly as she would be the first one trough the door . . . whether it was opened or not!

We had time to kill so it was snack time and my first chance to be reacquainted with just how much various items are on the island, much less in an airport. I bought a can of diet Pepsi, a diet Rockstar and two bags of chips all for the everyday low low price of $14.78 . . . Holy Shit! We re energized ourselves with our newly acquired Platinum snacks and before we knew it it was time to board the plane. As most of you who know me know that I don't play my “Disability Card”. Well it was time that I did. They announced the pre-boarding announcement that they were boarding people in wheelchairs, people with disabilities who needed assistance and First Class passengers. Well I wasted no time, they did announce First Class passengers and I figured that if they didn't recognize me as a First Class person the “Stump” would help with the disabled thingy. I soon realized why I don't use my disability card. As I walked across the seating area to the gate, there were an enormous amount of stares from people who were wanting to get a glimpse of what condition I had that would enable me to board the plane before them. Well the best part was when their stares were met with my direct eye contact. It was at that very moment when the stares turned into what I like to call “Eye Pity”. That's when the rush of guilt enters the eyes of the person who is staring. I like to make this moment as awkward for them as possible . . . that's the whole point of the definite eye contact back at them. I soon was at the gate showing my boarding pass and had my fun. I must admit being let on the plane early is definitely the way to go. There are no impatient people pushing and trying to get their items into the overhead bins before you. It was just me, three other people and two flight attendants. I think my disability card will be played more often in the future that is for sure. Soon the rest of the passengers were allowed to join us “special people”. The plane was loaded, Joanie was sitting next some Bitchy lady who was posing as a flight attendant. We found out later that when Joanie went to sit down the “Bitch” asked to see her boarding pass to verify that this was in fact Joanie's seat. Now there are certain times when Joanie can be . . . well lets just say . . . Like this fake flight attendant. Needless to say Joanie was not a happy camper when we arrived in Kauai. The only good thing was this flight took longer to board than it did to fly to Kauai. It was a grueling 25 minute flight . . . barely enough time for the flight attendants to pass out juice and collect the trash. Now to baggage claim and rental car . . .

We went to the baggage claim area where something totally amazing happened. The bags began coming onto the carousel four of the first five bags were all our bags . . . Holy Shit . . . Time to play the lottery! We gathered our bags and were off to face the rental car shuttle and rental car facility crowds. We crossed the street and the first shuttle we came to was ours . . . Once again . . . Holy Shit! The driver loaded the luggage and we were off to the rental car counter in a matter of a few minutes . . . Holy Shit! We arrived at the Alamo Rental car counter and were greeted by four agents waiting to help with not a single person in line . . . Holy Shit . . . this was like something from the Twilight Zone! We were in and out of the rental car place in a matter of 5 minutes . . . Holy Shit! We loaded everything into the back of the S.S. Escape and were on the road to our home away from home. We arrived at the homestead and after a short wait in line we were checked in very quickly . . . Holy Shit! We were then shown to the Concierge desk and were welcomed by a very enthusiastic group of people where we were all promptly laid. They had us lay our respective spouses as they did not want our vacation here starting off on the wrong foot . . . Holy Shit! We were promptly signed up on a VIP tour of the rounds set for Monday. This is the sales pitch portion of all of our Timeshare adventures. I like going on these because they always give you a couple of hundred dollars in gift certificates plus a free three day stay at one of the many locations they manage. Vegas here we come!!!!

After we stowed our belongings in the unit and a quick room by room ooo and ahh tour we were off to Wal-Mart and Kmart to shop for supplies. There is a law on the island that they do not give you bags when you buy items at the store. You have to buy reusable ones at $.50 a piece . . . Holy Shit! This all went so well it deserves a great big . . . Holy Shit! We arrived back after our trip to town to unload our provisions with multiple trips . . . yup you guessed it . . . Holy Shit!

We stashed our Wal-Mart finds then off to dinner at the local Taco Bell. That's right we have to support our oldest son as he works at the warehouse that supplies Taco Bell with their supplies . . . So there! After our delicious dinner it was back to the home away from home to unwind after a busy long ass day a few beers and a non ball scalding shower it was time for bed.