Breath Taking Views And Bucket Loads Of Sweat

This adventure began at 7:00am which was not as bad as yesterday. Although the bus ride to the section of the Great Wall of China that we were visiting was a mere 3 hours away if the traffic was good. Thank god the traffic was good and the police check points were not interested in stopping 19 buses of passengers to review our travel documents. We made it safe and sound to the Great Wall of China in just over 3 hours. The bus drivers here in this country are definitely believers in the driving rule of "The bigger vehicle has the right of way". They fly down the road, darting in and out of traffic. They also get some type of thrill from tailgating and passing on blind corners. . .Damn what a ride. We are now clear as to why there are the two handles on the back of every seat. I fondly call them the "Holy Shit" handles, because every time you use them it is generally accompanied with the words "Holy Shit". At any rate the ride there was an adventure.

Once we arrived at the Great Wall we gathered in the parking lot in preparation for our ascent. Wait let me say that again with more feeling "ASSSSCCCCEEEENNNNNTTTT". Our guide John I believe now is part mountain goat along with our oldest son Bobby. John's definition of "it's not a bad hike" and, "not too much longer now" has now being questioned along with his sanity because I think the boy is crazy with a capital CRAZY!!! It was approximately one and a half miles at about a 45 degree angle for the first mile, then increasing to about 60 degrees for the last half mile. Then at the end of that climb there were about 6 flights of stairs that everyone had to negotiate to get to the performance platform. After arriving at the performance platform area the next best vantage point was another 6 flights of stairs to get there. After waiting there for about fifteen minutes it was discovered that the entire red hub color guard would not be able to fit on the performance platform, so half of them were moved to the observation platform where we were, so we were asked to move to the next high level. That level only required us to climb an additional 4 flights of stairs oh yippee! I was able to use my cat like reflexes and puma like physique to land the prime real estate spot to shoot the video from . . .Score! The Red Hub Orchestra performed their songs on the Performance Platform to the cheers of onlookers. There was local media coverage and it was also rumored that CNN may have coverage as well.

After the Red Hub Orchestra performance was over Tom Burns with the help of Dan had everyone gather on a section of stairs on the Great Wall of China for a group photograph where everyone even though they were exhausted put on the "Happy Face" and stuck around the area for the picture. I will also try and find out the particulars about when and where to get a copy of the photo from Tom Burns. After the photo opportunity, everyone had 2 and a half hours of free time to either climb and explore the great wall and or go to the little farmer village at the base of the "Hill" that we climbed for some bargain shopping. As everyone might have guessed I chose the later because it meant getting down off of the treadmill from hell. At the first turn we were met by local vendors or as some might refer to them as "Pushy Little Bastards" peddling their wears aggressively on us as we were leaving the performance platform. We soon found out that the information gained from Frommers (A Travel Guide) was well worth it, and the price they quoted us was merely a jumping off point to a whole new world of Ebay type bidding wars where both parties wills were tested as to how steadfast they would hold on to their idea of a fair price. After a short barter and arguing session we headed back down the so called "Hill". After what seemed like a 5 mile hike we arrived at the first "Watering Hole", where we found the local people to be not only fair with their prices for various beverages but very kind in their hospitality. This is where the gentleman offered me a cold drink and a stool to rest on as from first glance of my "Fat Ass" he thought I was having a stroke and that would not be good for business having a fat dead guy plopped in front of his door step. After a quick rest stop we completed our descent to the parking lot / gift shop area of the adventure. This is where everything got even more interesting. As the party I was descending with arrived we found that we were pretty much the first to arrive at this particular shopping venue. Myself, Jenn, Kevin and my oldest son Bobby were bombarded with a barrage of requests from the local vendors ranging from "You come buy T-shirt from me to the echoes of "COLD BEER", to something that sure sounded like "Come eat my dog", but this is china you know. We were very sweaty and just wanted a place to basically collapse, so we found it a wall to sit on and did just that. Apparently this was not good enough for the local vendors as one of the woman vendor proceeded to run across the shopping square to where we were seated, with her wears, and proceeded to turn into a mini Wal-Mart and pulled stuff out of I don't even want to know where, and offer us her deals. We used our "Frommers" world traveler smart shopping tips and proceeded to run the prices of the poorest of poor's prices right into the toilet like any good capitalist should. After we completed our purchases it was time to board the buses for another fun-filled trip back to Orchestra Village".

After everyone had their two and a half hours of Physical fitness / Shopping time we all gathered on the bus where we tried our best to get comfortable and rehydrate. We left at 2:30pm for the three hour journey back to our hotel. We were traveling as a pack and we were following a "Lead" bus back to the village. The lead bus was apparently be driven by "Where's Fuckin' Waldo" because proceeded to take the bus not only through the slums of slums but at one point four wheelin' down a bumpy gravel country road. We all were thinking that "This is where they take tourists to rob and leave them for dead. Well it turned out we were just so lost that three bus drivers had to venture off the buses in different directions and ask locals just exactly how in the Sam hell to get back to "Civilization". Our bus driver was part GPS part Map quest as he was able to save the day and find us safe passage back to Orchestra Village". We arrived back in just a shade under 4 hours. In our travels we did however learn about the local policy regarding going pee and taking a. . .Well you know. We have passed everything from a father and son peeing on the side of the road (Facing Traffic) to local tarpped trench type shitters that are one trench no waiting regardless of sex. This definitely give everyone on our tour a whole new appreciation of the "American Standard" toilet and urinals. I an sure some or the kids will return with some interesting stories about using the "Facilities" while on our travels through China. Well as I said we all arrived safe and sound at the "Village" just in time for dinner.

Tomorrow is fairly light with an afternoon practice of about an hour and a half with the pin exchange ceremony in the evening. So the blog entry will be pretty short with not a lot to report. I will also be sleeping in as I'm a fat bastard who just tried to climb to the moon via the Great Wall of China. I did not succeed but my oldest son who is very young and very "In Shape" ran all over the wall like a possessed goat, at times leaving the local vendors in the dust. I'm sure they think he is some sort of possessed goat on a rampage with an insatiable appetite to take pictures using three cameras (Mine, Dennis Crow's and his own). Well I am going to sleep only to wake up what I can only imagine describe as "Crippled", after today's events. Until tomorrow. . .We Climbed The Wall . . .WWWHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOHHHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!