Do you ever wonder . . .

That is a pretty wide open statement and I know that everyone wonders about something during the course of their existence. Well the following entry is about some of the things that I wonder about . . .

The first thing and probably the least unique thing that I wonder about why do we bother teaching English in public schools anymore when it obviously doesn't matter if you can read, write or even speak it . . . Hell just ask Juan the undocumented citizen . . . all he would say is que'? anyway.

The second thing that I wonder about is the "Fun Size" candy bar. What makes it so "Fun"? I mean I understand the "Bite Size" and even the "King Size" they make perfect sense, but why does making a candy bar smaller make it "Fun" and what the hell is so fun about a candy bar anyway? Now there are some things that "Size" and "Fun" go hand in hand . . . Like . . . Oh I don't know perhaps . . . Dildos. I believe that it just might be that the size to fun ratio is a given when it comes to Dildos . . . but in candy bars . . . Really? I think this may just be a pathetic advertising ploy to get the mindless sheep known as the American consumer to make a subconscious connection to their inner Dildo Desire when it comes to buying candy.

Lastly but surely not least I wonder why people like Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, and Britney Spears are news worthy? Why do people give a shit about these self absorbed pieces of shit anyway? There are far too many important things going on in this world than these Hollywood Whores and a Hose bag. Like the dentist in New York City who recently had a 31 pound bale of pot delivered to his office accidentally. How would you like to explain that to the drug lord you work for about that "Sorry boss I accidentally sent the 31 pounds of pot to a dentist" . . . duh? Or even the recent news from the Bronx Zoo where a Cobra had gone missing . . . "What the hell do you mean you don't know where it is" . . . How in the hell do you misplace a fucking Cobra? Well the good news is that they found it and only two Zebras, a Giraffe, a Fox, 6 Lemurs and a Partridge in a Pear tree were killed in a tragic twist to the story . . . I'm just kidding. Then there was fellow amputee that tripped a robbery suspect with his fake apendage . . . you go stumpy. Finally what is up with the fake message parlor inspector who demanded a message. First of all why haven't I thought of that before and second where did he find a message parlor with that many stupid people. Honestly where did he find a group of people that not only believed that there is such a thing as a "Message Parlor Inspector" . . . not to be confused with the "Bikini Inspector" . . . I know I have the tee shirt that says I'm official. Then to go on to believe that standard practice is to demand a message as a quality control check . . . Holy Shit where do I sign up? I guess the next open market is for the exciting position of Brothel Inspector" in Nevada. I can only imagine the perks in that job. Well that is it for today as there is a Red Wings game coming on and everyone knows how I am about my red Wings Hockey . . . Go Wings!!!