Here A Pee There A Pee Everywhere A No Pee Pee . . .

It was an ordinary day. Joanie was so excited to be going to an interview. Her interview was at 9:30 at English Oaks rehabilitaion center. The interview went off without a hitch. As a matter of fact it was time for a pre-employment physical, and of course Lucy . . . I mean Joanie had never had a pre-employment physical. Anybody who Knows Joanie . . . Hmmm . . . what could possibly go wrong? As far as the physical was concerned nothing was wrong. Something was wrong with Joanie however . . .

Going into the physical she was very very nervous. With that being said you would not think that the problem that she had would be so. The physical went great but by the title of this blog entry you could probably have guessed . . . she could not Pee. That's right the wonder Wiz was eluding her. The nurse having seen this before knew just what to do. She gave her a nice big glass of water to try and jump start the "Puddle Maker". For most "Normal" people this refreshing aid is generally sipped at a leisurely pace along with thoughts of waterfalls, running faucets, and rain, but not Lucy . . . I mean Joanie. She in an effort to impress the Pee Gods and Goddesses thought it would be a good idea slam . . . No . . . Guzzle . . . Nay . . . Gulp like a person who has been stranded in the desert for a month. This in turn almost triggered a visit from the "Vomit Monster". She let the nurse know that she wasn't feeling very well and that she felt like she was going to show everyone what she had for breakfast . . . I know . . . Ewww! That's when the nurse produced a small trash can which was reminiscent of those high school beer drinking parties where inexperienced drinkers could waste what they had drank to that point. The nurse gave Joanie the barf bucket with strict instructions to not drink ANYTHING else. This was now entering the end of the first 20 minute period. That's right it had only been 20 fucking minutes . . . All this in only 20 minutes holy shit . . . only Lucy.

After sitting for about a hour trying to keep her Eggo's down Joanie thought she felt a bubbling in her bladder so off to the Wee Wee room for another try at the "To Beat the Clock Tinkle Test". The Pee Pee timer was set again . . . That's right there was a 2 minute Pee Pee timer that the nurse would set to make sure that those people who can't piss on command have even more performance anxiety. Well as you might have guessed what make this a blog worthy story is that yes . . . once again . . . the "Pissless" marched on. Well at least back to the waiting room to wait for the all elusive "Stirin' of the Urine".

Well after hour two went merrily by she thought once again that this could be the gully washer she had been waiting for. The time was set, the tweeds and panties were around the ankles, the catch cup was in place . . . here it comes . . . here it comes . . . Squirt. That's it . . . That's all . . . A fucking thimble full . . . well this is great Joanie thought . . . I'm gonna be the first person to fail a Urine Test from not turning it in.

Tic Toc . . . Tic Toc . . . There goes the clock. Hour three rapidly approached and oh how there was an immediate need for the yellow river to start flowin' . . . now would be a great time. So she was off to the tinkletorium . . . Timer Set . . . Get Ready . . . Get Set . . . Goooooo! Yes, yes, yes . . . I'm Peeing . . . I'm Peeing she yelled at the top of her lungs. Actually she didn't yell it but it sure would have been funny if she had. At any rate she finally went Pee, the nurse finally got to go to lunch, and the anxiety of a failed Urine test from not turning it in was gone . . . Life was good again. Wouldn't you know it for the next two hours she had to pee every fifteen minutes like a male dog marking his territory. Well she is scratching at the door wanting out so I had better go and take her on a walk . . .