Well as promised I am here to talk about an amusing story that I read while perving . . . I mean cruising the Internet. That's right ladies an gentlemen the Michigan police busted someone making hot sweet love to a car wash vacuum cleaner.
Holy shit what was this fucker thinking. There is absolutely no way that you can even remotely explain this away once you are caught. I racked my brain all night and all day and the best my twisted mind came up with was something the hilarious comedian Billy Connolly said in his stand up routine. He was giving every man in the audience advice as to what to say when they get caught jerkin' the gherkin'. The "Fucker", as we will refer to the Michigan vacuum virgin as in this case, once caught needed to immediately upon being caught yell "THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE"!! followed by "YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE THIS"!! At that point as Billy Connolly says, the person who is the one who caught the "Fucker" or the "PO PO" as we will call them in this case, would be immediately surprised by the exclamation. This is where this whole scenario get very very tricky. The follow up comment has to make sense and fit the scene. That is where I see a major problem. What could you even say? "I was walking across the car wash lot and the "Fuckuum" attacked me. I was out for an evening stroll and was propositioned for a fifty cent blow job. The last one is the one I used . . . I mean would have used. At any rate the "Fucker" had to plead "No Contest" as he was not getting any cooperation out of his all too silent partner. So the next time you are thinking that it would be a good idea to stick your "Pee Pee" into an inanimate object think about what excuse that you could possibly use to explain the sick twisted act in the first place.
For those of you who are not fortunate enough to know who Billy Connolly is. He is one of the funniest comedians that I know. The plus is his Scottish accent. Here is a link the the story that I refered to in my rant: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqnUceOIEHE I hope everyone enjoyed the trip to you tube. Until my next post . . . "FUCK OFF"!! (Watch the video you'll understand the "Fuck Off").
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1 comment:
I think the rest of Connolly's story would have fit.
"I was walking across the parking lot of this fine car wash, when the biggest bluidy spider you've ever seen runs out of the bushes, and right up my trouser leg. I whip down the tweeds, and there he is about to sink his fangs into my willy..."
etc. Awesome reference. I remember watching this and laughing our butts off. lol
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