What Do You Mean Your Pussy Is Falling Out?!?

Holy Shit . . . My Pussy Is Falling Out . . . HELP!

That’s right, there apparently has been a recent rise in the amount of Panty Hamsters turning themselves inside out . . . What the Fuck is going on? I mean you can’t turn on the television without seeing a commercial for law suites involving surgeries where the trans-dermal vaginal mesh was implanted. That’s right doctors have installed little screen doors in the Va-jay-jay’s of the world. Which could definitely give new meaning to the phase “Banged her like a screen door”. I know the recent rise in tip toeing south of the boarder Pink Tacos can be attributed to the fact that the media has increased the amount of coverage of this condition. I know it is not a case of a Herd of Bearded Oysters migrating south for the winter in large numbers. I searched everywhere for an answer to my question, “What is happening to today’s Bikini Biscuits”?

A very wise woman brought up a very good point when she made the following comment; “How would you be able to tell that your Hush Puppy is falling out since most of them look like they are turned inside out as it is”. When you are right your right lady. There is even a surgery where they rejuvenate a woman’s vagina. What the hell is that about? I mean before you know it people are going to have grandmothers with great tits from implants and a pussy of a twenty year old . . . Is that hot or sick . . . Fuck if I know! At any rate all I can say is . . . Holy Shit I think this may be one of the signs of the apocalypse.

Well as luck would have it I work in the healthcare field and there are never a shortage of people to ask these types of burning questions. So here are a few of the questions and answers that I was given . . .

Q: Why is this condition happening all of a sudden?

A: It has happened for quite some time. “Back in the day” they would just sew it back into place. (What the hell are you talking about . . . Sew it back in place?) The doctor would just run a needle up a woman's Cooter and tack it into the abdominal muscles to hold it up! (All I can say is “Oh My God” if this happened to a guys ball sack he would commit suicide)

Q: What causes Cat Flaps to turn themselves inside out?

A: There are many reasons, ranging from C Section child births to weakened abdominal muscles from being pregnant. I think my favorite reason that I heard was that they are just showing off by turning themselves from a “Wonder Down Under” to a “Way Way Way Down Under Wonder” with a striking resemblance to Pretty Pink Mud Flaps better known as . . . “Meat Curtains.”

Q: Why install a screen door?

A: The screen door that they install will eventually have the tissue inside the Pink Taco grow into the mesh creating a “Screengina”. It's not because there is a Poon-Porch with a broken screen door like I thought . . . damn it!

Well with some of my preliminary questions answered I know now that it's everyone job to keep our collective eyes out for the “Runaway Twats” trying to escape. So for the woman who may think that she is starting to have a “Runaway Snatch” . . . Please Do Not Sneeze too hard.

Picture it . . . a poor woman afflicted with a Kamikaze Cockwash sneezes and her pretty pink parts puff out like a “Bubblegum Air Bag” between her legs. Damn if that wouldn't make you soil yourself. Keep in mind that if it was a Full Figured Gal it may just result is a Giant Pink Crotch Balloon that could suffocate small animals and children.

I think I have developed a game plan for a cure that men can help with. The cure consists of increasing sexual intercourse particularly PENETRATION with a secondary wave of kegel exercises. This method not only shoves the escaping parts back into place but strengthen the grip of the Sausage Wallet too. Either way you just can't go wrong with my cure . . . Enjoy!

Please remember . . . When playing her Baby Gap like a Pink Harmonica to treat it with the utmost care and respect because a Perky Punani is a terrible thing to waste . . . and she could take the Hairy Checkbook away when your not looking.